Happy New Year To Me

2008 is going to be my year.

By the end of 2008 I will have a new job, more money, better hair, savings, six pack abs, new cell phone, a dog named Pete, no credit card debt, more friends, better friends, cooler friends, hotter friends, less vanity, more me-time, and that's it.

Oh tell me what you think of this insult:

Is that sass
Coming from your ass
You call a mouth?

I just thought of it today. I might use it on someone.

Ok, Happy New Year to all of you.

BTW: This is my 100th Post!

Merry Christmas To All

Ho Ho Ho, Christmas is here. Here's a song that always puts me in that jolly Christmas spirit.

Worst Movie Pitch Contest

Radar Magazine is having a Worst Movie Pitch Contest judged by Harvey Weinstein.

I just entered the contest and so can you at this link.

Here is my submission:

The Pitch: Holocaust Survivor Moves to 1950's New York; Wackiness & Romance Ensue

The Premise: Down and Out Holocaust Survivor, Emanuel Goldstein, emigrates to Post-WWII New York after losing his family. All alone, Emanuel meets squirrels with the ability to talk in Central Park, Chuck, Stevie, and Barry. With the help of his new friends, Emanuel learns the ways of America, moving on after loss, and finding new love. Will their advice work when it comes to romancing Lydia, Emanuel's co-worker at the Italian Deli?

It's "Sophie's Choice" Meets "Alvin & the Chipmunks"

The Cast: Emanuel: Adrien Brody
Voice of Chuck: Hank Azaria
Voice of Stevie: Ben Affleck
Voice of Barry: Jon Voight
Lydia: Jessica Alba

My Third Death Has Come

Everything comes in threes. I believe that saying, especially when it comes to death.

Believing that, I became worried last night when at work my boss's grandmother had died. There's one...who will be next?

Later that night when I got home my roommate got a phone call saying her great uncle died. There's two...who will be next?

At that point I was kind of freaking out. Two deaths to people I didn't really know. Would the third death be someone close to me?

Nope, I just got news Dennis Kucinich's brother died, Perry.

I'm sorry for his family's loss, but am very much relieved. Thanks for filling the third spot, Perry. R.I.P.

Coke Commercial Being Taped on Connecticut & L, NW Now

As I walking back to work from lunch, I noticed a film crew at Connecticut and L, NW by Farragut North Metro Station.

I asked one of the crew members what was going on and she said it was for a Coke commercial.

So I strolled around a bit to see if I could see anyone famous and who did I see...

Former Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist!

If he's acting or now a consultant for Coke, I don't know which.

Either way, Pepsi anyone?

"One Magic Christmas": A Christmas Heartbreaker

If there is one Christmas movie that breaks my heart more than any other it would have to be "One Magic Christmas". The beginning with the Grangers being evicted from their apartment and crabby Ginnie not getting a moments peace, even in the shower, leaves me emotionally drained.

And then when I think this movie can't get any sadder the bank robber shoots Ginnie's husband, hijacks kids in the car and proceeds to drive off the road, killing them all. The following scene with Ginnie (Mary Steenburgen) running after the car always has me in a complete sobs.

After that the movie takes a strange turn where Gideon the angel brings the kids back to life followed by Santa doing the same to the dad, Jack.

What I find so amazing about the film is how it represents impoverished America, from a mother on food stamps to abusive managers at low-skilled jobs. And although Ginnie is depressed, her husband Jack and kids look on the bright side of life. Of course in Ginnie's defense, she's the one working at the grocery store while unemployed Jack builds bikes all day.

Anyway, I think the film does a great job at showing the struggles many in this country go through financially this time of year. A side we rarely see in today's TV and movie.

DC's Best Commercial

Sorry, Eastern Motors. The throne for most catchy and just plain messed up commercial in the DC region has passed to....

Afros Cut!!

**Video plays all three Afros Cut commercials**

Stadium Traffic Scares My Neighbors

The Washington Post has this article on the fears many of my Southwest neighbors have with likelihood of traffic congestion following the completion of the National's new stadium.

I say in the words of our fearless leader, "Bring em' on!"

I see nothing but blue skies and blooming roses in this situation. Here's my list why:

1. The thousands of visitors will mean boom times for our nonexistent restaurants and shops.

2. And with all these people floating around we'll have a whole new class of people to despise.

4. More cars mean more smog. It is about time our air matched the color of the nearby Anacostia River. Royal Brown.

5. We'll get to watch the progression of our neighborhood turn from crackhouses to trendy condos and back to crackhouses, all within a few years.

6. Higher chance of SW pedestrians being hit by cars. Money in the bank for the injured.

7. Last but not least why this is good news: I don't drive and I don't use the Navy Yard Metro. I could give a fuck!

Good Times.

Huckabee's Son Hangs Dogs?

Newsweek has this article on Mike Huckabee's son David who in 1998 hanged a dog at a Boy Scout camp, allegedly.

A few questions:

1. Aren't the candidates' brothers suppose to be the fuck-ups, not the kids?

2. Did Ms. Huckabee serve fat for breakfast to her family each morning?

3. Was Whoopi right? Is torturing dogs apart of southern culture?

4. Could this photo be any creepier?

5. When did the boy scouts start giving out Future Serial Killer badges?